NEWS FLASH
*Just been surfing. Caught a couple. Can still do it. Was quite fun.
*Bit sleepy now.… Read the rest >>>
Paternity Leave (no. 2) Day 23
The Ultimate Balancing Act
I love my wife. I love her. She’s amazing and an amazing mum to our two. She’s clever, beautiful, youngish; she’s multilingual. So if I want to find things wrong enough with her to complain about I have to try really, really hard. Luckily, I have been able to do … Read the rest >>>
Missed Kiss
The other day our newborn son, M and I were in the street outside our apartment block preparing for a nice walk. It seemed, however, as if M wasn’t quite ready to go and he explained this to me by going very red and shouting like fuck. I picked him … Read the rest >>>
Best Pushchair to Push While Carrying the Supposed Occupant
You know the drill. Push the pushchair and carry the kid. What’s the point? Well you can store stuff in the pushchair while you’re carrying the kid. What stuff? Well, stuff that you’ll need because you’re venturing further afield than is safe for a quick nip back home to change … Read the rest >>>
Keyless Entry and Insecure Engine Parts
We’ve got one of those flash cars that has keyless entry. This means that if the key’s in your pocket you can stick your hand in the handle and it unlocks. It works by magic and is so good that I had some trouble with it when I went surfing … Read the rest >>>
Bitey McBiteface
When I went to pick S up from his nursery yesterday the girls who work there pulled me aside and explained that someone had *bitten him on the arm but because I didn’t quite understand what they were saying I nodded and said yes and no and todo bien con … Read the rest >>>
Shit
Today I got shat on. Twice. Not metaphorically. First by the 12 day old. He tricked me by peeing on me first, which made me lower my guard, then he let me have it with a stream of the stuff. We were on the sofa. It’s dark grey so fluorescent … Read the rest >>>
Paternity Leave (no. 2) Day 8
We lay awake most of the night afraid that M wasn’t waking up to feed. Ha ha as come the morning he hungrily went at the royal boobs and happily filled himself up. We’re getting sleep so there must be something wrong! That said, S had brought home his second … Read the rest >>>
Paternity Leave (no. 2) Day 7
Today we went to buy a pram. That should read, another pram. Our spare room (warehouse) now resembles a closing down sale at Mothercare. Shabby miniature wheeled vehicles stand around redundantish as S walks mostly everywhere now. The new pram, which is actually second hand, fits right in with the … Read the rest >>>
Coats and Zips
This week at school the kids have been zipping their coats together. Small groups of them have been drifting around the playground conjoined and giggling. Look, they say to me. We are zipped together.
‘Oh yes,’ I say. ‘That’s clever.’
Look, look.
‘Yes, I see. That’s clever.’
Look.
‘Yes.’
At … Read the rest >>>