4.59am in the Morning

In he gets, grumpy as a three-year old and just as dangerous. Climbs over me grumbling and coughing. Knees my wife in the face, complains at her sleepy complaint. Forces his way in between us and smashes his legs about, enlarging his territory. 

“Do you want a drink of water?” …
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Climbing the ever steepening terrain, the car dropping down through gears, views inversely rising: pretty to impressive, ending at stupendous. Glimpses of a landscape flashing through trees as the car switches back and forth; hairpin after hairpin.

“I can smell aminal poo,” the three year old exclaimed with rising excitement. …
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A Sunday with Surf


It is Sunday.

The world and its granny out and about. Church bells clanging. Believers streaming out into the light eager to return to their vices. Adults and children with white sticks in mouths – lighting ciggies and sucking lollies. Everyone squinting as the sun burns away at the haze. …
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There’s this thing that me and my friends do after surfing together and I bet that, whether you surf or not, you and your friends do a similar thing too. I’m referring to the age old art of giving a compliment to get a compliment, and for our group of …
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When I first met my wife I got quite a shock (as she is such a beauty obvs.). And when we moved in together and began to share a bed I got another shock but a bit less of one this time. Every morning after I left our bedroom, she …
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Night Moves

Dreams can come true

Gabrielle, summer of 1993

This week both boys have been ill. Which is a new thing for us. One yes, two never. Never again hopefully.

The baby, M, has got a cough and a bit of a cold and TBH is bossing his way through it. …
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Foiling Keyless Entry

As I may have previously mentioned, we’ve got a proper grown up car now.

Before I begin and just to clarify, I’ve been a grown up for quite a long time; age wise I mean. I’ve been to a university of sorts and got a degree, also of sorts. And …
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Dad Jokes

A quick one about Dad jokes

I was excitedly modern chatting (whatsapp messaging) with my brother in law the other day as I had just made up a pretty great joke (below) that required a working knowledge of French to fully appreciate (cultured bastard you are thinking) – which my …
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Truly Surfing

I’ve become a bit addicted recently to a free game on my iPhone called True Surf. Terrible name. Pretty good game. Actually a bit addicted is an understatement. I was so completely addicted that I deleted the app (because my wife told me she never would have married me if …
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Today as we passed the local beach I was happy to see that the waves were complete shit and by this I mean they were so shit that even I – a crowd-hater of British surfing heritage who would rather surf complete slop aloneish than good waves with anyone else …
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Priorities of Care

‘I’m not grumpy,’ she hisses.
‘My mistake,’ I say.

I am astride the porcelain throne flipping idly through apps on my phone. All was quiet when I began but now I can hear something. In truth, I finished my business a while ago but I have decided to take a …
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Dummy Versus Hand

He’s crying so hard that I can’t believe he isn’t going to have an aneurysm. We can’t believe he isn’t going to have an aneurysm. It’s we because we’ve been doing shifts to calm this little bomb down for the past hour or so. I’ve actually had a break – …
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