Something that none of us have ever experienced and could never imagine has happened. We are “locked down”. This phrase that only a few days ago we would have mocked as some sort of Hollywood gibberish and is now firmly part of our daily vocabulary, just as selfie… Read the rest >>>
In he gets, grumpy as a three-year old and just as dangerous. Climbs over me grumbling and coughing. Knees my wife in the face, complains at her sleepy complaint. Forces his way in between us and smashes his legs about, enlarging his territory.
Climbing the ever steepening terrain, the car dropping down through gears, views inversely rising: pretty to impressive, ending at stupendous. Glimpses of a landscape flashing through trees as the car switches back and forth; hairpin after hairpin.
“I can smell aminal poo,” the three year old exclaimed with rising excitement. … Read the rest >>>
Outside our house at The Beach That Never Has Waves, the swell is filling in fast. The tide is already too high on the bank and the whole thing has become a lurching trampoline of a shore break. Ducking and diving under mutant waves, four or five waveriders are trying … Read the rest >>>
The world and its granny out and about. Church bells clanging. Believers streaming out into the light eager to return to their vices. Adults and children with white sticks in mouths – lighting ciggies and sucking lollies. Everyone squinting as the sun burns away at the haze. … Read the rest >>>
There’s this thing that me and my friends do after surfing together and I bet that, whether you surf or not, you and your friends do a similar thing too. I’m referring to the age old art of giving a compliment to get a compliment, and for our group of … Read the rest >>>
When I first met my wife I got quite a shock (as she is such a beauty obvs.). And when we moved in together and began to share a bed I got another shock but a bit less of one this time. Every morning after I left our bedroom, she … Read the rest >>>
I was excitedly modern chatting (whatsapp messaging) with my brother in law the other day as I had just made up a pretty great joke (below) that required a working knowledge of French to fully appreciate (cultured bastard you are thinking) – which my … Read the rest >>>
I’ve become a bit addicted recently to a free game on my iPhone called True Surf. Terrible name. Pretty good game. Actually a bit addicted is an understatement. I was so completely addicted that I deleted the app (because my wife told me she never would have married me if … Read the rest >>>
Today as we passed the local beach I was happy to see that the waves were complete shit and by this I mean they were so shit that even I – a crowd-hater of British surfing heritage who would rather surf complete slop aloneish than good waves with anyone else … Read the rest >>>
‘I’m not grumpy,’ she hisses.
‘My mistake,’ I say.
I am astride the porcelain throne flipping idly through apps on my phone. All was quiet when I began but now I can hear something. In truth, I finished my business a while ago but I have decided to take a … Read the rest >>>
He’s crying so hard that I can’t believe he isn’t going to have an aneurysm. We can’t believe he isn’t going to have an aneurysm. It’s we because we’ve been doing shifts to calm this little bomb down for the past hour or so. I’ve actually had a break – … Read the rest >>>